The Card:Done Right
by ShinigamiPhantom
Summary: This my (sort of) take on "The Card" episode from Spongebob. I was trying to make it less insuferrable on Patrick side. It's not a fix fic, but a totally different story. While I think it's good I would like to know what you think.


Spongebob Squarepants -The Card - done right.

Hey, remember that infamous "Spongebob Squarepants" episode "The Card", where Patrick reveals his sociopathy to everyone and destroyed the titular card?  
Yeah, a lot of people hate this episode. I thought about the events and was inspired to write this fanfic where I change the plot a little to make it less irritating on Patrick side.

Dislaimer:I don't own Spongebob or Nickelodeon so don't sue me.

Note:This story seemed good in my head, but I'm asking you for an opinion. I apologise if my grammar is terrible.

It was another wonderful day in Bikini Bottom. Spongebob, happy and joyful as always entered the local comic book store. Inside was a stand with new trading card game with Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy. Spongebob jumped in excitement. That's what he was here for. Next to the cashier stood Patrick counting his change.  
"Hey Patrick! Did you come here to buy brand new cards with Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy?" Spongebob asked his friend.  
"Nope. I'm checking if I got the change right. I put one dollar in the change machine and it gave me pennies!" Patrick answered pointing at the pile of brown coins on the table.  
Spongebob walked to the cashier:  
"I would like one package of Mermaid Man and Barnacle Bopy cards, please!" Spongebob exclaimed.  
"That will be one dollar" said the cashier extending his arm.  
Spongebob pulled a bankroll from his pocket, took a dollar and gave it to the cashier.  
Once the pakage was in his hands Spongebob opened it and took out the cards in suspense. He got cards with a wheelchair, Pimple on the toe and a denture, mask and starfish.  
"Wow! This must be the most valuable cards in the world! I will treasure them for forever!" said our Sponge as he nestled the cards to his face.  
The Cashier chuckled:  
"Heh! Those cards are worthless. I use them for napkins. I'll show you a truly valuable card" he turn around, picked a card from a pedestal and show it to Spogebob "This is a super rare Platinum Animated Talking Card number 54" the card showed Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy standing in front of a green background and music bit. A recorded voice said "Mermaid says" the titular hero look left and ducked, a fist flew above him, hitting Barnacle Boy. Mermaid Man them said "Buy More cards".  
"There are only FIVE in existence" said the cashier in a amazed tone.  
"How much for this one!" Spongebob asked with glowing eyes, but the cashier put the card back on the shelf.  
"This card is only for display" he answered and pointed at the stand with card packages "If you one the real one you have to buy more packages and hope you get lucky."  
"I want more!" Spongebob shouted giving more banknotes. Cashier smiled as 'Ka-Ching!' sound filled the air...or water.  
For the next several minutes Spongebob was buying packages, opening them and grunting with dissapointment at the mundane cards which started to pile up on the floor.  
Eventually he run out of money and there was only one package left. "I'm out of money! I need that final package" he said looking at the remaining product with hunger.  
At the same time Patrick was done with counting.  
"Boy, I never counted this much in my life" said the Starfish as he begin to wonder what to buy. He than remembered what Spongebob was talking about "I want what he's having".  
Patrick pushed the pile of pennies to the cashier and took the last package.  
He opened it, took out one card and show it to Spongebob.  
"Is it a good card Spongebob?" Patrick asked as he looked into the package "Awwww, no bubble gum" he said dissapointed and absent mindely put the package in his his pocket.  
Spongebob looked bored at the card:  
"No it's just another..."he cut his sentence short when he noticed the card 54 in Patrick's hands "It's the Ultra rare card 54! It's very valueble!" he shrieked in excitement. "Can I have it?" he asked reaching out.  
"Sure, I actually hoped for a bubble gum" Patrick answered giving Spongebob the card.  
Outside Spongebob was jumping in exceitement.  
"I've got it! The Ultra Rare Platinum Animated Talking Card number 54!" he exclaimed lifting his arms with the card in his hands. Naurally, none of the pedestriansd cared.  
Someone did noticed the card though. A bivalve flying by noticed a blink of light from the card flew down, snatched the card and flew away.  
"AHHHHHH!"Spongebob shouted "My card!" The chase ensued.  
Spongebob and Patrick followed the bivalve and they ended up in the Jellyfish Fields.  
The card thief began to land on one of the corals.  
"We have to capture it somehow, Patrick" Spongebob said to his friend.  
"I will catch it in my jellyfish net" Patrick proposed pulling it from beind his back.  
"Good luck Patrick" Spongebob answered giving Patrick a thumbs up.  
Patrick quietly got closer to the bivalve. Sadly, the small creature noticed him and begin to fly away.  
"Oh no you won't!"shouted Patrick chasing the clam.  
After a short chase Patrick swang his net grabbing the bivalve, but it lead his to the hillside and he started to roll down.  
"Patrick!" Spongebob shrieked running down the hill to see if his friend was ockay.  
Starfish was fine and the bivalve was in the net.  
"I've got it Spongebob!" Patrick exclaimed happilylifting the net with a tiny creature sitting inside...with out the card.  
"Where's the card?!" Spongebob asked worriedly.  
"It must have dropped it when I captured it" Patrick answered and looked up a hill "There it is!"  
The card rested next to a rock facing the heroes. It definitely was dropped on it as it looked slightly dented.  
Spongebob cringed as he noticed that.  
They begin to run up a hill towards the card. That's when a familliar Blue Jellyfish appeared.  
It floated towards the card and it seem to enjoy the music jingle. It grabbed the card it it's oral arms and flew towards the nest.  
"Oh no! OH NO! OH NO!" shouted Spongebob as the Jellyfish vanished into the hive.  
Spongebob slowly approached the hive.  
"I guess, there's only one way to get it out" he said reaching through the hole.  
Instatntly he was satng but kept searching. Finally he felt the card and puuled it out.  
It was now covered in jelly. "It can be sweeped off! It can be sweeped off!'Spongebob was repeating histerically, not paying attention to his surroudnings.  
"Uhhhh, Spongebob" Patrick tried to get his friends attention to no avail as he was busy cleaning the card "Spongebob!"  
"What?" asked the sponge noticing they are surrounded by Jellyfish."RUN!".  
Spongebob and Patrick fled from the cloud of Jellyfish seeking some shelter from them.  
"Over there!" spongebob pointed at cravice. They run inside it misleading the Jellyfish as they flew by.  
"I think we're safe now, Patrick" Spongebob said uncertain that's when he hard a growl.  
Behind them was a large worm.  
"Uhm..." was all Patrick would say beofre the biting began. At one point the worm smelled jelly on the card, grabbed with with it's teeth and fled from the cravice.  
"OH COME ON!' shouted Spongebob as yet another chase began.  
It led them to a construction site of a new road.  
Patrick started to run faster and jump on the worm causing it to drop the dented, dirty, crampled card on the build road.  
A steamroller flattening the road was approaching the road.  
"NOOOOOOOO!" shouted Spongebob jumping forward and grabbing the card. As he did it the steamroller run over him.  
'SPONGEBOB!" Patrick screamed releasing the worm which run away.  
He swiftly run towards his friend who laid on the dround flat like a paper.  
"Spongebob" the Starfish said, his voice cracking as he began to cry over his lost friend.  
As this sad scene continued Spongebob began to jitter and returned to his normal shape with a pop. He looked at Patrick after hearing his cry.  
"You ockay, Patrick?" the starfish stopped crying looked at his friend and hugged him.  
"Spongebob! You're alive!" his happiness was boundless.  
"Of course I'm alive. I'm a sponge and you know I've been through worse" his exaplanation was cut as he remebered the card.  
While Spongebob was durable, the card wasn't. It laid on the ground in pieces. Tiny sparks coming from the edges of once valueble card Number 54.  
Spongebob broke out crying.  
"Spongebob what's wrong? Are you hurt?" Patrick asked concerned.  
"The Ultra Rare card is broken, Patrick! And we bought every package in the store! Now I will never get it!" "Spongebob! I thought you died and you're worried about card!" Patrick was really dissapointed about his friends behaviour."Not to mention we've been through a lot because of this one card".  
"It's a Mermaid man and Barnacle Boy collection. They are our friends and I look up to them. Plus card 54 is the only valueble card in the set. There are only 5 in existence, remember. Now the chances of getting it are zero" Patrick sighed, but than he remebered something. He pulled the package from his pocket.  
"I only pulled one card from the package! There are four more inside" he exclaimed while giving the package to Spongebob to cheer him up.  
Spongebob reached into the package and pulled the remaining cards in suspense.  
There they were the remaning four cards number 54. One of the cards even had glitch that made the fist hitting barnacle Boy invisible. Spongebob thought that he should be happy, but this was just so contrived.  
"All cards number 54 where in the same package?" he raised his head in wonder "Why do I feel like we were scammed?"  
"I know right?!" answered Patrick "Who came up with collection anyway.  
(ELSEWHERE)  
"WOOHOOO!" Mermaid Man shouted sitting in a jacuzzi filled with money.  
"We're rich!" said Barnace Boy grabbing banknotes in his hands and throwing them into the air...or water.  
"Thanks for giving us your money! Now it's ours!" Mermaid Man said at the audience.  
The End 


End file.
